So, at about 2:38am, i shut my computer, brushed my teeth, put in my retainers, and laid down to go to sleep.
Was I able to? No.
I started out lying there, praising God for so many things, so many blessings He's given me, the amazing people and fellowship that have stretched my faith, and helped me grow.
For the joy that comes with giving, wishing i had more money, just so I could give and support the people in my life who are following you.
Reflecting on tonight's bible study. Amazing. The women in it are such amazing, open, growing women of God. I am so incredibly blessed to be leading these wonderful women.
Praying to God about the upcoming unknowns and opportunities.
Thinking about the amazing time I had with Him today, drinking coffee and studying His Word, in the presence of my best friend Tiffanie, who I am so thankful for :)
Praying for my beautiful roommate from gms, and planning when I'm able to next talk to her.
Wondering why I haven't been writing as much...
And then, all of a sudden, the joy I was feeling overwhelmed me. I had a sudden urge to write and share my thoughts from study today, and a craving for cheese. (random, i know!)
Which is how I ended up here, at the kitchen table, bundled up, writing.
As I was going through Romans 1:18-32 today, a theme became glaringly obvious to me, which had never been before. So I'm just going to post a few thoughts that I gleaned from it.
Why Isn’t “Knowledge of God” Enough?
Knowledge: knowing there is a God, though His Word and creation itself.
Let’s examine this passage of Romans 1:18-32:
1. Though they knew about God, they still suppressed the truth with wickedness (v. 18).
2. They didn’t glorify or give thanks to Him (v. 21).
3. They exchanged the truth for a lie, worshiping and serving created things, rather than the Creator (v. 25).
4. They rejected God’s perfect plan and exchanged it for “unnatural relationships” (v. 26-27).
5. Didn’t find value in God’s knowledge, and continued to live sinfully, despite KNOWING God’s law and decrees, which were created for their good (v. 28-32).
How can you, in your life, strive to not just know there is a God, but to live your lives fully surrendered to Him?
1. * Turn from wicked behavior that will prevent the development, action, and expression of God’s truth in your life.
-Anything that is against what God’s Word commands you to do.
* Must continually seek God’s truth, as it applies to each and every situation.
2. * We can glorify God by living out of who He says we are, as new creations that turn from sin.
-2 Corinthians 5:17
3. * Examine the lies you believe about yourself, and about God
* Psalm 139:23-24: Examine and search your heart, making sure to that you are putting God FIRST in your heart
-This may require you to readjust your priorities and how you spend your time.
-Are the activities you’re participating in and thoughts you have drawing you closer to God, or are they pulling you away, allowing you to live a life of sin?
4. * In what ways are you living that aren’t part of God’s plan for your life?
-This could include drinking, drugs, sexual immorality, lying, pride, disobedience, or gossip.
-His plan isn’t meant to be just a list of rules that limit the “fun” you can have; they are God’s way of protecting us from sin and from living lives that are destructive to our souls.
-1 Peter 2:11
5. * Study God’s Word!
-Seek out truth, and pray that He’ll open your eyes to the value His Word holds.
* James 4:17~ “Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.”
-Hold fast to His words and commands, especially in times of temptation.
-The actions you do now for short-term, meaningless pleasure, can affect your future in ways you won’t realize until later.
Parasite
Yes, that is what my brother called me.
After having over a 2 hour conversation in the car about Jesus and the power and freedom found in Him, this is what it boiled down to.
God, I pray that you would work in my brother's heart, that you would draw Him close to you.
That his mind, which is blinded, and his heart that is hardened, would accept the Truth; the only Truth. His eyes cannot see, and his heart doesn't understand.
This breaks my heart.
He needs you, Lord. More than anything.
Following Jesus isn't just taking the "easy thing to do."
I pray that through my experience on EDGE, his viewpoint of what I'm doing with my life wouldn't be thought of as worthless.
Oh God, believe me, I KNOW it's not. But i wish he would be able to see, to experience the saving power of believing in Jesus Christ.
What I'm doing, according to him, is being a parasite.
One that makes the rest of my family feel guilty and forces them to donate money to my cause.
Two hours of talking about you, Jesus. About your life, your death, and your resurrection. About the Living Word of God. About the fall of mankind and our sinful natures. About the unseen forces that are at work against us. About drawing life from broken cisterns that will never satisfy. And humbly knowing that I will never be his savior; that it is God alone who works in the hearts of His people.
I pray that something will speak to him; that you would speak to the deepest part of his soul.
I alone cannot make him see, or understand.
Lord, Luke 12:52-53 is sadly and heartbreakingly true in my life. But I know that you are my Father, and that is what sustains me.
Comfort my heart, dry my tears, and help me know that it is you who they hate, not me.
"In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?" Ps. 56:4
Sounds simple enough. But when it is your very family, it hurts.
In Your eyes, I know I'm not a parasite.
I pray that my brother would believe that, too.
After having over a 2 hour conversation in the car about Jesus and the power and freedom found in Him, this is what it boiled down to.
God, I pray that you would work in my brother's heart, that you would draw Him close to you.
That his mind, which is blinded, and his heart that is hardened, would accept the Truth; the only Truth. His eyes cannot see, and his heart doesn't understand.
This breaks my heart.
He needs you, Lord. More than anything.
Following Jesus isn't just taking the "easy thing to do."
I pray that through my experience on EDGE, his viewpoint of what I'm doing with my life wouldn't be thought of as worthless.
Oh God, believe me, I KNOW it's not. But i wish he would be able to see, to experience the saving power of believing in Jesus Christ.
What I'm doing, according to him, is being a parasite.
One that makes the rest of my family feel guilty and forces them to donate money to my cause.
Two hours of talking about you, Jesus. About your life, your death, and your resurrection. About the Living Word of God. About the fall of mankind and our sinful natures. About the unseen forces that are at work against us. About drawing life from broken cisterns that will never satisfy. And humbly knowing that I will never be his savior; that it is God alone who works in the hearts of His people.
I pray that something will speak to him; that you would speak to the deepest part of his soul.
I alone cannot make him see, or understand.
Lord, Luke 12:52-53 is sadly and heartbreakingly true in my life. But I know that you are my Father, and that is what sustains me.
Comfort my heart, dry my tears, and help me know that it is you who they hate, not me.
"In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?" Ps. 56:4
Sounds simple enough. But when it is your very family, it hurts.
In Your eyes, I know I'm not a parasite.
I pray that my brother would believe that, too.
The Day that True Love Died
[written April 2, 2010, approximately midnight]
Today, while in the car with my mom, a song came on my shuffle.
The lyrics that stuck out to me were: “The day that true love died.”
It occurred to me, in that very moment, that TODAY was the day true love died.
Jesus Christ’s sacrifice on the cross is the very picture of true love (1 John 4:10).
God sent His only son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
Because of this act of selflessness, we are saved.
We are able to have a relationship with our creator, the one who loves us perfectly.
When I realized that Jesus Christ dying for me affected my life, in every moment, it changed my life.
Though I can never fully grasp the price He paid, I can use every opportunity to worship and praise His name; to live a life worthy of His calling.
While I wish I were actually able to do this, I am a sinful, selfish human being. It is only by God’s strength that I can live every moment for Him.
This weekend, I am spending time with my family, extended family, aunts, uncles, cousins, and other family friends. During one night, I have had the chance to talk about what I am doing for the next two years [EDGE] no less than 5 times. This has been incredible; to talk about where You are leading me next year, and however long after that!
I pray for boldness; for opportunities to talk about my heart and what you have been doing in my life.
Driving home tonight, I found out that my “aunt” and “uncle” believe in Jesus Christ and that He died today. I’m not sure what else they believe, and if it goes much further than that. I would love for a chance to talk with them about how their lives and hearts can be transformed by His power. That Jesus died for a reason and with purpose.
I wonder if they really and personally know what that means for their lives. I pray that You would draw Kim and Dave closer to You.
They attend a church here in Carmel, and asked if I would like to join them this Sunday. I am so thankful that You have provided this time for me to spend worshipping You, and to bond with my family.
1 Peter 3:15 is my prayer.
Today, while in the car with my mom, a song came on my shuffle.
The lyrics that stuck out to me were: “The day that true love died.”
It occurred to me, in that very moment, that TODAY was the day true love died.
Jesus Christ’s sacrifice on the cross is the very picture of true love (1 John 4:10).
God sent His only son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
Because of this act of selflessness, we are saved.
We are able to have a relationship with our creator, the one who loves us perfectly.
When I realized that Jesus Christ dying for me affected my life, in every moment, it changed my life.
Though I can never fully grasp the price He paid, I can use every opportunity to worship and praise His name; to live a life worthy of His calling.
While I wish I were actually able to do this, I am a sinful, selfish human being. It is only by God’s strength that I can live every moment for Him.
This weekend, I am spending time with my family, extended family, aunts, uncles, cousins, and other family friends. During one night, I have had the chance to talk about what I am doing for the next two years [EDGE] no less than 5 times. This has been incredible; to talk about where You are leading me next year, and however long after that!
I pray for boldness; for opportunities to talk about my heart and what you have been doing in my life.
Driving home tonight, I found out that my “aunt” and “uncle” believe in Jesus Christ and that He died today. I’m not sure what else they believe, and if it goes much further than that. I would love for a chance to talk with them about how their lives and hearts can be transformed by His power. That Jesus died for a reason and with purpose.
I wonder if they really and personally know what that means for their lives. I pray that You would draw Kim and Dave closer to You.
They attend a church here in Carmel, and asked if I would like to join them this Sunday. I am so thankful that You have provided this time for me to spend worshipping You, and to bond with my family.
1 Peter 3:15 is my prayer.
Anne of Green Gables
Upon rereading a favorite childhood book of mine, I wonder what my 7-year old self must have thought or imagined the first time reading about Anne. There is quite a bit of depth that I didn't grasp in my young age, which leads me to consider if any of it intrigued me, or if I quickly skimmed over it to get to the "good parts"?
I wonder if L.M. Montgomery was a Christian...
Google has been one of my best friends for a while now.
Well, according to her biography, she married a minister, but turned her back on religion...
From the book itself, there is a slight hinting that church is a required part of life, for purely social reasons, and a boring or unimaginative part at that! The church body wasn't very welcoming to Anne, and Sunday school seemed more like a duty than a joy.
But, anyway, Anne herself, with her seemingly infinite imagination, depicts the child described in the first part of 1 Corinthians 13:11~ "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child..."
Her thoughts are full of JOYFUL life; I admire her relentless idealistic manner.
I wonder if I asked who God was after hearing Anne's response:
"God is a spirit, infinite, eternal, and unchangeable, in His being, wisdom, power, holiness, justice, goodness, and truth."
Reading this now, I am so humbly struck by the depth of her response. I am once again reminded of the perfect Father that has chosen me.
But I am also saddened by the fact that she said this "promptly and glibly," which means thoughtlessly or insincerely.
That Anne, at age 11, knows these truths about our God, but not the slightest idea of what that means for her.
I pray that our children wouldn't be given just a desensitized knowledge of the truth of God, but a powerful, expressible love of God, which surpasses all knowledge.
I pray that those who read this beautiful book and are captivated by Anne's childish, yet irresistible nature, would be struck even more powerfully by the unchanging, infinite, and eternal nature of our God, characterized by His being, wisdom, power, holiness, justice, goodness, and truth.
I wonder if my 7-year old self ever had a longing for the love of her Lord, for a taste of His unfailing and unchanging love? And was that want pushed away into the depths of her heart, unnoticed and ignored?
This thought makes my heart break for my 7-year old self, knowing how the ways of the the world, not her loving Savior, shaped her childhood.
I wonder if L.M. Montgomery was a Christian...
Google has been one of my best friends for a while now.
Well, according to her biography, she married a minister, but turned her back on religion...
From the book itself, there is a slight hinting that church is a required part of life, for purely social reasons, and a boring or unimaginative part at that! The church body wasn't very welcoming to Anne, and Sunday school seemed more like a duty than a joy.
But, anyway, Anne herself, with her seemingly infinite imagination, depicts the child described in the first part of 1 Corinthians 13:11~ "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child..."
Her thoughts are full of JOYFUL life; I admire her relentless idealistic manner.
I wonder if I asked who God was after hearing Anne's response:
"God is a spirit, infinite, eternal, and unchangeable, in His being, wisdom, power, holiness, justice, goodness, and truth."
Reading this now, I am so humbly struck by the depth of her response. I am once again reminded of the perfect Father that has chosen me.
But I am also saddened by the fact that she said this "promptly and glibly," which means thoughtlessly or insincerely.
That Anne, at age 11, knows these truths about our God, but not the slightest idea of what that means for her.
I pray that our children wouldn't be given just a desensitized knowledge of the truth of God, but a powerful, expressible love of God, which surpasses all knowledge.
I pray that those who read this beautiful book and are captivated by Anne's childish, yet irresistible nature, would be struck even more powerfully by the unchanging, infinite, and eternal nature of our God, characterized by His being, wisdom, power, holiness, justice, goodness, and truth.
I wonder if my 7-year old self ever had a longing for the love of her Lord, for a taste of His unfailing and unchanging love? And was that want pushed away into the depths of her heart, unnoticed and ignored?
This thought makes my heart break for my 7-year old self, knowing how the ways of the the world, not her loving Savior, shaped her childhood.
God is Your Sanctuary
"This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Although I sent them far away among the nations and scattered them among the countries, yet for a little while I have been a sanctuary for them in the countries where they have gone." Ezekiel 11:16
When I read this passage a few weeks ago, I immediately thought of all of you who will be scattered among the nations this summer.
In context, God scattered His people among the nations as an exile; Though the reasons may be different, this truth remains the same:
God is your SANCTUARY. i.e. a place where God is worshipped; a Holy place; a place of refuge.
Refuge is defined as a source of help, relief, or comfort in times of trouble.
Isn't that comforting to know without a doubt, that God will be your source of help and comfort during your hard times?
I've come to learn, in my heart and not just my head, that God is the same God no matter where I am, physically or spiritually.
He meets me where I'm at, and provides for me, despite my surroundings.
I want all of you to know and remember, especially during the hardships, that God is with you, and He is your Rock and Redeemer.
I can't express how deeply I admire all of your boldness and obedience in stepping out of your comfort zone, travelling to a different country or city, and spreading the love of Christ wherever He leads. Though you may be on a totally different continent, knowing no one, you have God.
Fix your eyes on Him, and joyfully share the hope of the Gospel.
No matter where you are this summer: Russia, Japan, the Middle East, New Zealand, Argentina, Haiti, Namibia, Burlington♥, or Chicago, God is your SANCTUARY.
Hold on tightly to Him, and take refuge in His promises.
I love you all.
When I read this passage a few weeks ago, I immediately thought of all of you who will be scattered among the nations this summer.
In context, God scattered His people among the nations as an exile; Though the reasons may be different, this truth remains the same:
God is your SANCTUARY. i.e. a place where God is worshipped; a Holy place; a place of refuge.
Refuge is defined as a source of help, relief, or comfort in times of trouble.
Isn't that comforting to know without a doubt, that God will be your source of help and comfort during your hard times?
I've come to learn, in my heart and not just my head, that God is the same God no matter where I am, physically or spiritually.
He meets me where I'm at, and provides for me, despite my surroundings.
I want all of you to know and remember, especially during the hardships, that God is with you, and He is your Rock and Redeemer.
I can't express how deeply I admire all of your boldness and obedience in stepping out of your comfort zone, travelling to a different country or city, and spreading the love of Christ wherever He leads. Though you may be on a totally different continent, knowing no one, you have God.
Fix your eyes on Him, and joyfully share the hope of the Gospel.
No matter where you are this summer: Russia, Japan, the Middle East, New Zealand, Argentina, Haiti, Namibia, Burlington♥, or Chicago, God is your SANCTUARY.
Hold on tightly to Him, and take refuge in His promises.
I love you all.
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