"I have been with you wherever you have gone..." 2 Sam 7:9
"Never will I leave you and never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5
It's all over scripture. God is with us.
He is Immanuel.
Whenever I feel alone, which, honestly, has been a lot...I wonder: where should I go? What should I believe?
His Word.
Because when I turn to the scriptures, I can't deny that God is with me.
It's not a matter of feeling His presence, it's a matter of faith; of believing what is unseen to be true.
Sometimes I wonder, God, where were you before I knew you?
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." Ps. 139:13
And I know.
I know that He was there with me, even from the beginning; before I took my first breath.
He was there in the moments no one else was, even when I didn't realize that.
Whom shall I fear?
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
He is with us. Forever.
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Living out of our fears and insecurities isn't the way God's intended us to live.
He's set us free
He's forgiven us and has called us to a new life; a life worthy of His calling.
Yet, we often still live enslaved to our old life; to old patterns, old doubts, LIES.
When we believe the lies that plague our minds and hearts, we aren't believing God and the power of the cross.
Jesus DIED for us.
He gave His life in order that we may be set free; that we may live our lives in the presence of God.
His blood covers over all our shame and our sin.
It bridges the gap.
It makes what can never be holy, holy.
Who are we that we deserve this?
Yet it is not us, but Him.
God. I am sick of living out of who I believe myself to be; it's far from who you say I am, and far from true.
"In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free." Ps. 118:5
He's set us free from this world, from its temptations and tendencies.
He's set us free from sinful patterns,
He's set us free from our past.
He's set us free from the lies we live out of.
Yet, we so often choose to live out of who we were because it's somehow safer. It's less risky, and in doing it, we think we'll protect our heart.
But yet, God is the safest place we could ever be.
He's calling us to LIVE lives of WORSHIP. Lives surrendered to Him.
How are we living? Are we afraid to believe the truth because we've been told otherwise?
Are you afraid to believe that you're holy, blameless, pure, beautiful, competent, worthy, known, loved, precious, honored, and transformed?
Are you afraid to believe you're His?
Because you are.
"One day it'll be true with our eyes, and not just in fact.
We are holy, righteous, blameless, because Jesus is.
One day we'll actually see it. The gap is faith"
Lord, I pray for truth, I pray for faith, and I pray for soul-shattering transformation.
We must live lives based on God's Word, not our own perspectives, biases, or fears.
He's set us free
He's forgiven us and has called us to a new life; a life worthy of His calling.
Yet, we often still live enslaved to our old life; to old patterns, old doubts, LIES.
When we believe the lies that plague our minds and hearts, we aren't believing God and the power of the cross.
Jesus DIED for us.
He gave His life in order that we may be set free; that we may live our lives in the presence of God.
His blood covers over all our shame and our sin.
It bridges the gap.
It makes what can never be holy, holy.
Who are we that we deserve this?
Yet it is not us, but Him.
God. I am sick of living out of who I believe myself to be; it's far from who you say I am, and far from true.
"In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free." Ps. 118:5
He's set us free from this world, from its temptations and tendencies.
He's set us free from sinful patterns,
He's set us free from our past.
He's set us free from the lies we live out of.
Yet, we so often choose to live out of who we were because it's somehow safer. It's less risky, and in doing it, we think we'll protect our heart.
But yet, God is the safest place we could ever be.
He's calling us to LIVE lives of WORSHIP. Lives surrendered to Him.
How are we living? Are we afraid to believe the truth because we've been told otherwise?
Are you afraid to believe that you're holy, blameless, pure, beautiful, competent, worthy, known, loved, precious, honored, and transformed?
Are you afraid to believe you're His?
Because you are.
"One day it'll be true with our eyes, and not just in fact.
We are holy, righteous, blameless, because Jesus is.
One day we'll actually see it. The gap is faith"
Lord, I pray for truth, I pray for faith, and I pray for soul-shattering transformation.
We must live lives based on God's Word, not our own perspectives, biases, or fears.
Country Music
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Written July 15, 2010 8:17 pm
When I first came to college, there were two genres of music that I couldn't stand.
Country and Christian.
That probably had something to do with the fact that my family extremely disliked them.
Looking back, it's crazy to see who I was, 4 years ago, as an 18-year old girl stepping onto campus. And how much I've changed. Or should I say, how much God has changed me.
It's not my doing, at all, that I am where I am today, about to embark on the first year of the ministry God has called me to do.
When I came to college, I began to realize what I liked, not what my parents liked;
how I wanted to live, not how my parents wanted me to live.
And somewhere in the process of figuring all this out, through my strugge to please them, He found me.
It is not anything I did; He has chosen me, set me apart, and knew me before I was even born.
When I listen to country music, it gently tugs at my heart, reminding me of who I was.
How I used to dislike it.
A lot.
How I couldn't understand how anyone could want to listen to it, much less enjoy it.
It was something I had "suffer" through on car rides...
Similar to my views on Christianity...
Country music helps paint a picture of how He's pursed me and romanced me.
I am loved.
Country music triggers the memory of where I used to be, and remembering that it is He who chose me and changed my heart.
I am humbled.
Country music awakens me to the reality that I am a new creation; the old has gone the new has come!
I am forgiven.
In reality, it's all Him. He has done all this and more.
I'm just amazed what He uses to remind me.
Like Country Music.
When I first came to college, there were two genres of music that I couldn't stand.
Country and Christian.
That probably had something to do with the fact that my family extremely disliked them.
Looking back, it's crazy to see who I was, 4 years ago, as an 18-year old girl stepping onto campus. And how much I've changed. Or should I say, how much God has changed me.
It's not my doing, at all, that I am where I am today, about to embark on the first year of the ministry God has called me to do.
When I came to college, I began to realize what I liked, not what my parents liked;
how I wanted to live, not how my parents wanted me to live.
And somewhere in the process of figuring all this out, through my strugge to please them, He found me.
It is not anything I did; He has chosen me, set me apart, and knew me before I was even born.
When I listen to country music, it gently tugs at my heart, reminding me of who I was.
How I used to dislike it.
A lot.
How I couldn't understand how anyone could want to listen to it, much less enjoy it.
It was something I had "suffer" through on car rides...
Similar to my views on Christianity...
Country music helps paint a picture of how He's pursed me and romanced me.
I am loved.
Country music triggers the memory of where I used to be, and remembering that it is He who chose me and changed my heart.
I am humbled.
Country music awakens me to the reality that I am a new creation; the old has gone the new has come!
I am forgiven.
In reality, it's all Him. He has done all this and more.
I'm just amazed what He uses to remind me.
Like Country Music.
Do I? [make you proud]
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There's a difference between my father and my Heavenly Father.
I think all of us have a longing in our heart that desperately pleads:
"I'll make you proud, daddy, I promise."
The response is where it differs.
With one, there is a fear, an unknown that is heartbreaking in its uncertainty.
A fear that I no longer make him proud, that I'm no longer his little girl.
A heartbreaking thought that I'm not good enough, a disappointment.
A knowledge that the life I'm choosing to live isn't the life he'd have wanted me to have.
That unlike our genes, my passion and love for God isn't something we share.
I often wonder what he'd say if I asked him if he was proud of me...
With the other, there is an assurance, a complete trust that when I tell him "I'll make you proud, daddy, I promise." He responds gently and tenderly:
"You already have."
I think all of us have a longing in our heart that desperately pleads:
"I'll make you proud, daddy, I promise."
The response is where it differs.
With one, there is a fear, an unknown that is heartbreaking in its uncertainty.
A fear that I no longer make him proud, that I'm no longer his little girl.
A heartbreaking thought that I'm not good enough, a disappointment.
A knowledge that the life I'm choosing to live isn't the life he'd have wanted me to have.
That unlike our genes, my passion and love for God isn't something we share.
I often wonder what he'd say if I asked him if he was proud of me...
With the other, there is an assurance, a complete trust that when I tell him "I'll make you proud, daddy, I promise." He responds gently and tenderly:
"You already have."
Dying of Thirst
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Do you ever feel like you're drowning? In the midst of a big, beautiful ocean, the waves crashing on and around you. So much water, and from a distance, it appears be enough to satisfy your thirst for a lifetime.
Yet when you're in it, you soon realize that what had looked so appealing from the outside has, in fact, deceived you.
Surrounded by beautiful things that don't satisfy. Instead, with each new wave, they threaten to pull you down and overtake you.
Though you're submerged in water, you're...
Dying of thirst.
Ironic, isn't it?
Such is a life apart from Jesus.
"Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters;
and you who have no money, come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and your soul will delight in the riches of fare.
Give ear an come to me; hear me, that your soul may live."
--Isaiah 55:1-3
I read these words, and I know they're TRUTH. I know they have transforming power. So I pray. God, awaken my soul. Use these words to convict me, draw me near to you, and make me feel the deepness of my hunger. I pray that everything I've been going to except you would taste like dust in my mouth. Like David, I want to long and thirst for you. I pray that nothing else would satisfy, even for just a brief moment.
I am parched, thirsty beyond belief.
I am starving, hungering for Your Word.
No longer do I want to crave delicacies, that which are deceptive.
No longer will I be taken in by the voice that says "Eat and drink," but his heart is not in it.
I want to desire the food that satisfies my soul, the richest of foods.
I want to drink of the living water so I will never thirst again.
"Then Jesus declared, 'I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty." --John 6:35
In the midst of everything: funding, surrendering, challenges, distractions, all I really want is the one who satisfies my soul.
He's the only one who can keep me from
Dying of thirst.
Yet when you're in it, you soon realize that what had looked so appealing from the outside has, in fact, deceived you.
Surrounded by beautiful things that don't satisfy. Instead, with each new wave, they threaten to pull you down and overtake you.
Though you're submerged in water, you're...
Dying of thirst.
Ironic, isn't it?
Such is a life apart from Jesus.
"Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters;
and you who have no money, come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and your soul will delight in the riches of fare.
Give ear an come to me; hear me, that your soul may live."
--Isaiah 55:1-3
I read these words, and I know they're TRUTH. I know they have transforming power. So I pray. God, awaken my soul. Use these words to convict me, draw me near to you, and make me feel the deepness of my hunger. I pray that everything I've been going to except you would taste like dust in my mouth. Like David, I want to long and thirst for you. I pray that nothing else would satisfy, even for just a brief moment.
I am parched, thirsty beyond belief.
I am starving, hungering for Your Word.
No longer do I want to crave delicacies, that which are deceptive.
No longer will I be taken in by the voice that says "Eat and drink," but his heart is not in it.
I want to desire the food that satisfies my soul, the richest of foods.
I want to drink of the living water so I will never thirst again.
"Then Jesus declared, 'I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty." --John 6:35
In the midst of everything: funding, surrendering, challenges, distractions, all I really want is the one who satisfies my soul.
He's the only one who can keep me from
Dying of thirst.
Counting Sheep
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So, I know by the title of this blog, it may seem as if I’m going to discuss a dream or my attempts to fall asleep by…counting sheep.
But, no.
I literally counted sheep.
When I was home over Spring Break, my mom said to me, “You should go on a walk in our neighborhood’s common area…”
Which is normal. There are some really cool trails and pretty scenery.
But what I didn’t expect was the end of her suggestion:
“…to look at the sheep.”
This wasn’t expected because there aren’t sheep there normally.
But it intrigued me because, for a while now, I’ve actually been wanting to observe sheep. Preferably with a shepherd, but, regardless, I wasn’t going to pass up this opportunity.
So apparently there has been a poison oak issue for some time now, and one solution is to bring in sheep, who will just eat it right up. This is called vegetation control.
Once in sight of the sheep, I sat down and observed them.
There was a sheepdog that watched over them, protecting them from unwanted visitors such as coyotes or mountain lions, I’m guessing.
They were also confined by an electrical fence, so that they wouldn’t go astray.
Any sudden movements, and half of them would freak out. They’d jump, stop eating, and look at me with a deer-in-the-headlights look.
Just sitting there, taking it all in, brought tears to my eyes.
Thinking how we really are just like those sheep.
How, without that electrical fence, they would just wander aimlessly.
Isaiah 53:6—“We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way.”
In their case, the only protection they have is that electrical fence that keeps them in, and prevents others from entering.
But they don’t have the discipline, discernment, or guidance that our Father gives us.
They eat, and eat, and keep on eating.
And they eat anything and everything: healthy grass, along with poison oak, or even thorns. They’ll eat it all, without regard of what’s good for them, and what’s going to be harmful.
These poor sheep are just lost.
I am thankful that we have a shepherd, one who seeks us out, rescues us, and guides us.
Ezekiel 34:11-12—“For this is what the Sovereign Lord says: I myself will search for my sheep and look after them. As a shepherd looks after his scattered flock when he is with them, so will I look after my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places where they were scattered on a day of clouds and darkness.”
Psalm 23:1-3—“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.”
Oh, and there were 45.
I did actually count.
Anxiously Waiting
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I just had my last assignment of my college career; my last presentation; my last dreaded school-related homework!
Well, I still have finals, but that's beside the point.
Sunday night, I sat, staring at my computer, for about two hours. And that's not including the time I spent doing other things that weren't essential to get done.
I vaguely remember Tiffanie questioning, "Why do I have to be so good at procrastinating?"
And I have to ask myself the same question.
When did I get so good at putting off schoolwork?
Why does writing a paper about a subject that I have no interest in bring me such dread?
Why couldn't I just sit and get it done?
When did not turning in my homework become okay?
Does that have anything to do with the increasing occurrence of not attending class?
I know that Matthew 6:34 says, "Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
But have I truly applied it to my life?
I am so excited, and so ready for the next stage of life to be here, that I think I'm already living it. Despite still being here physically, my heart is already on EDGE.
I've forgotten that in order to actually do EDGE, I have to first graduate. Which means I have to pass my classes, and in order to do that, I must study.
Is it a sense of "pride" that I have?
Oh, I'll graduate...God wants me to do EDGE, so He'll make it happen, even if I don't study.
It makes me feel sick, knowing that there are times I believe that thought.
I know that God could make that happen; He could do anything. But He has me in this place, as a student, for a purpose.
He also calls us to work at whatever we do with ALL our heart, as if working for the Lord. Kyu-Ho emphasized that whenever we work, we are communing with the Lord; that our hard work is pleasing to Him.
Waiting is defined as:
1) remaining inactive or in a state of repose, as until something expected happens
2) looking forward to eagerly.
While both of these apply to how i feel...only one of them is healthy.
I will admit, I am eagerly looking forward to being graduated and starting my job with Navs.
But, to remain inactive until that time, is not okay.
I've found my tendency, without self-control or discipline, is to want do just that--remain inactive.
Thank goodness that I've been given a spirit of self-discipline!
Proverbs 12:25 says, "An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up."
Last week was a hard week; I definitely felt the effects of my anxious heart...
Lord, I pray that you would take away my anxiety, and let me find rest in who you are, and where you have me these last couple weeks. Lord, your consolation brings joy to the soul; console me.
Well, I still have finals, but that's beside the point.
Sunday night, I sat, staring at my computer, for about two hours. And that's not including the time I spent doing other things that weren't essential to get done.
I vaguely remember Tiffanie questioning, "Why do I have to be so good at procrastinating?"
And I have to ask myself the same question.
When did I get so good at putting off schoolwork?
Why does writing a paper about a subject that I have no interest in bring me such dread?
Why couldn't I just sit and get it done?
When did not turning in my homework become okay?
Does that have anything to do with the increasing occurrence of not attending class?
I know that Matthew 6:34 says, "Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
But have I truly applied it to my life?
I am so excited, and so ready for the next stage of life to be here, that I think I'm already living it. Despite still being here physically, my heart is already on EDGE.
I've forgotten that in order to actually do EDGE, I have to first graduate. Which means I have to pass my classes, and in order to do that, I must study.
Is it a sense of "pride" that I have?
Oh, I'll graduate...God wants me to do EDGE, so He'll make it happen, even if I don't study.
It makes me feel sick, knowing that there are times I believe that thought.
I know that God could make that happen; He could do anything. But He has me in this place, as a student, for a purpose.
He also calls us to work at whatever we do with ALL our heart, as if working for the Lord. Kyu-Ho emphasized that whenever we work, we are communing with the Lord; that our hard work is pleasing to Him.
Waiting is defined as:
1) remaining inactive or in a state of repose, as until something expected happens
2) looking forward to eagerly.
While both of these apply to how i feel...only one of them is healthy.
I will admit, I am eagerly looking forward to being graduated and starting my job with Navs.
But, to remain inactive until that time, is not okay.
I've found my tendency, without self-control or discipline, is to want do just that--remain inactive.
Thank goodness that I've been given a spirit of self-discipline!
Proverbs 12:25 says, "An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up."
Last week was a hard week; I definitely felt the effects of my anxious heart...
Lord, I pray that you would take away my anxiety, and let me find rest in who you are, and where you have me these last couple weeks. Lord, your consolation brings joy to the soul; console me.
Joyfully Awake
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So, at about 2:38am, i shut my computer, brushed my teeth, put in my retainers, and laid down to go to sleep.
Was I able to? No.
I started out lying there, praising God for so many things, so many blessings He's given me, the amazing people and fellowship that have stretched my faith, and helped me grow.
For the joy that comes with giving, wishing i had more money, just so I could give and support the people in my life who are following you.
Reflecting on tonight's bible study. Amazing. The women in it are such amazing, open, growing women of God. I am so incredibly blessed to be leading these wonderful women.
Praying to God about the upcoming unknowns and opportunities.
Thinking about the amazing time I had with Him today, drinking coffee and studying His Word, in the presence of my best friend Tiffanie, who I am so thankful for :)
Praying for my beautiful roommate from gms, and planning when I'm able to next talk to her.
Wondering why I haven't been writing as much...
And then, all of a sudden, the joy I was feeling overwhelmed me. I had a sudden urge to write and share my thoughts from study today, and a craving for cheese. (random, i know!)
Which is how I ended up here, at the kitchen table, bundled up, writing.
As I was going through Romans 1:18-32 today, a theme became glaringly obvious to me, which had never been before. So I'm just going to post a few thoughts that I gleaned from it.
Why Isn’t “Knowledge of God” Enough?
Knowledge: knowing there is a God, though His Word and creation itself.
Let’s examine this passage of Romans 1:18-32:
1. Though they knew about God, they still suppressed the truth with wickedness (v. 18).
2. They didn’t glorify or give thanks to Him (v. 21).
3. They exchanged the truth for a lie, worshiping and serving created things, rather than the Creator (v. 25).
4. They rejected God’s perfect plan and exchanged it for “unnatural relationships” (v. 26-27).
5. Didn’t find value in God’s knowledge, and continued to live sinfully, despite KNOWING God’s law and decrees, which were created for their good (v. 28-32).
How can you, in your life, strive to not just know there is a God, but to live your lives fully surrendered to Him?
1. * Turn from wicked behavior that will prevent the development, action, and expression of God’s truth in your life.
-Anything that is against what God’s Word commands you to do.
* Must continually seek God’s truth, as it applies to each and every situation.
2. * We can glorify God by living out of who He says we are, as new creations that turn from sin.
-2 Corinthians 5:17
3. * Examine the lies you believe about yourself, and about God
* Psalm 139:23-24: Examine and search your heart, making sure to that you are putting God FIRST in your heart
-This may require you to readjust your priorities and how you spend your time.
-Are the activities you’re participating in and thoughts you have drawing you closer to God, or are they pulling you away, allowing you to live a life of sin?
4. * In what ways are you living that aren’t part of God’s plan for your life?
-This could include drinking, drugs, sexual immorality, lying, pride, disobedience, or gossip.
-His plan isn’t meant to be just a list of rules that limit the “fun” you can have; they are God’s way of protecting us from sin and from living lives that are destructive to our souls.
-1 Peter 2:11
5. * Study God’s Word!
-Seek out truth, and pray that He’ll open your eyes to the value His Word holds.
* James 4:17~ “Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.”
-Hold fast to His words and commands, especially in times of temptation.
-The actions you do now for short-term, meaningless pleasure, can affect your future in ways you won’t realize until later.
Was I able to? No.
I started out lying there, praising God for so many things, so many blessings He's given me, the amazing people and fellowship that have stretched my faith, and helped me grow.
For the joy that comes with giving, wishing i had more money, just so I could give and support the people in my life who are following you.
Reflecting on tonight's bible study. Amazing. The women in it are such amazing, open, growing women of God. I am so incredibly blessed to be leading these wonderful women.
Praying to God about the upcoming unknowns and opportunities.
Thinking about the amazing time I had with Him today, drinking coffee and studying His Word, in the presence of my best friend Tiffanie, who I am so thankful for :)
Praying for my beautiful roommate from gms, and planning when I'm able to next talk to her.
Wondering why I haven't been writing as much...
And then, all of a sudden, the joy I was feeling overwhelmed me. I had a sudden urge to write and share my thoughts from study today, and a craving for cheese. (random, i know!)
Which is how I ended up here, at the kitchen table, bundled up, writing.
As I was going through Romans 1:18-32 today, a theme became glaringly obvious to me, which had never been before. So I'm just going to post a few thoughts that I gleaned from it.
Why Isn’t “Knowledge of God” Enough?
Knowledge: knowing there is a God, though His Word and creation itself.
Let’s examine this passage of Romans 1:18-32:
1. Though they knew about God, they still suppressed the truth with wickedness (v. 18).
2. They didn’t glorify or give thanks to Him (v. 21).
3. They exchanged the truth for a lie, worshiping and serving created things, rather than the Creator (v. 25).
4. They rejected God’s perfect plan and exchanged it for “unnatural relationships” (v. 26-27).
5. Didn’t find value in God’s knowledge, and continued to live sinfully, despite KNOWING God’s law and decrees, which were created for their good (v. 28-32).
How can you, in your life, strive to not just know there is a God, but to live your lives fully surrendered to Him?
1. * Turn from wicked behavior that will prevent the development, action, and expression of God’s truth in your life.
-Anything that is against what God’s Word commands you to do.
* Must continually seek God’s truth, as it applies to each and every situation.
2. * We can glorify God by living out of who He says we are, as new creations that turn from sin.
-2 Corinthians 5:17
3. * Examine the lies you believe about yourself, and about God
* Psalm 139:23-24: Examine and search your heart, making sure to that you are putting God FIRST in your heart
-This may require you to readjust your priorities and how you spend your time.
-Are the activities you’re participating in and thoughts you have drawing you closer to God, or are they pulling you away, allowing you to live a life of sin?
4. * In what ways are you living that aren’t part of God’s plan for your life?
-This could include drinking, drugs, sexual immorality, lying, pride, disobedience, or gossip.
-His plan isn’t meant to be just a list of rules that limit the “fun” you can have; they are God’s way of protecting us from sin and from living lives that are destructive to our souls.
-1 Peter 2:11
5. * Study God’s Word!
-Seek out truth, and pray that He’ll open your eyes to the value His Word holds.
* James 4:17~ “Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.”
-Hold fast to His words and commands, especially in times of temptation.
-The actions you do now for short-term, meaningless pleasure, can affect your future in ways you won’t realize until later.
Parasite
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Yes, that is what my brother called me.
After having over a 2 hour conversation in the car about Jesus and the power and freedom found in Him, this is what it boiled down to.
God, I pray that you would work in my brother's heart, that you would draw Him close to you.
That his mind, which is blinded, and his heart that is hardened, would accept the Truth; the only Truth. His eyes cannot see, and his heart doesn't understand.
This breaks my heart.
He needs you, Lord. More than anything.
Following Jesus isn't just taking the "easy thing to do."
I pray that through my experience on EDGE, his viewpoint of what I'm doing with my life wouldn't be thought of as worthless.
Oh God, believe me, I KNOW it's not. But i wish he would be able to see, to experience the saving power of believing in Jesus Christ.
What I'm doing, according to him, is being a parasite.
One that makes the rest of my family feel guilty and forces them to donate money to my cause.
Two hours of talking about you, Jesus. About your life, your death, and your resurrection. About the Living Word of God. About the fall of mankind and our sinful natures. About the unseen forces that are at work against us. About drawing life from broken cisterns that will never satisfy. And humbly knowing that I will never be his savior; that it is God alone who works in the hearts of His people.
I pray that something will speak to him; that you would speak to the deepest part of his soul.
I alone cannot make him see, or understand.
Lord, Luke 12:52-53 is sadly and heartbreakingly true in my life. But I know that you are my Father, and that is what sustains me.
Comfort my heart, dry my tears, and help me know that it is you who they hate, not me.
"In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?" Ps. 56:4
Sounds simple enough. But when it is your very family, it hurts.
In Your eyes, I know I'm not a parasite.
I pray that my brother would believe that, too.
After having over a 2 hour conversation in the car about Jesus and the power and freedom found in Him, this is what it boiled down to.
God, I pray that you would work in my brother's heart, that you would draw Him close to you.
That his mind, which is blinded, and his heart that is hardened, would accept the Truth; the only Truth. His eyes cannot see, and his heart doesn't understand.
This breaks my heart.
He needs you, Lord. More than anything.
Following Jesus isn't just taking the "easy thing to do."
I pray that through my experience on EDGE, his viewpoint of what I'm doing with my life wouldn't be thought of as worthless.
Oh God, believe me, I KNOW it's not. But i wish he would be able to see, to experience the saving power of believing in Jesus Christ.
What I'm doing, according to him, is being a parasite.
One that makes the rest of my family feel guilty and forces them to donate money to my cause.
Two hours of talking about you, Jesus. About your life, your death, and your resurrection. About the Living Word of God. About the fall of mankind and our sinful natures. About the unseen forces that are at work against us. About drawing life from broken cisterns that will never satisfy. And humbly knowing that I will never be his savior; that it is God alone who works in the hearts of His people.
I pray that something will speak to him; that you would speak to the deepest part of his soul.
I alone cannot make him see, or understand.
Lord, Luke 12:52-53 is sadly and heartbreakingly true in my life. But I know that you are my Father, and that is what sustains me.
Comfort my heart, dry my tears, and help me know that it is you who they hate, not me.
"In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?" Ps. 56:4
Sounds simple enough. But when it is your very family, it hurts.
In Your eyes, I know I'm not a parasite.
I pray that my brother would believe that, too.
The Day that True Love Died
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[written April 2, 2010, approximately midnight]
Today, while in the car with my mom, a song came on my shuffle.
The lyrics that stuck out to me were: “The day that true love died.”
It occurred to me, in that very moment, that TODAY was the day true love died.
Jesus Christ’s sacrifice on the cross is the very picture of true love (1 John 4:10).
God sent His only son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
Because of this act of selflessness, we are saved.
We are able to have a relationship with our creator, the one who loves us perfectly.
When I realized that Jesus Christ dying for me affected my life, in every moment, it changed my life.
Though I can never fully grasp the price He paid, I can use every opportunity to worship and praise His name; to live a life worthy of His calling.
While I wish I were actually able to do this, I am a sinful, selfish human being. It is only by God’s strength that I can live every moment for Him.
This weekend, I am spending time with my family, extended family, aunts, uncles, cousins, and other family friends. During one night, I have had the chance to talk about what I am doing for the next two years [EDGE] no less than 5 times. This has been incredible; to talk about where You are leading me next year, and however long after that!
I pray for boldness; for opportunities to talk about my heart and what you have been doing in my life.
Driving home tonight, I found out that my “aunt” and “uncle” believe in Jesus Christ and that He died today. I’m not sure what else they believe, and if it goes much further than that. I would love for a chance to talk with them about how their lives and hearts can be transformed by His power. That Jesus died for a reason and with purpose.
I wonder if they really and personally know what that means for their lives. I pray that You would draw Kim and Dave closer to You.
They attend a church here in Carmel, and asked if I would like to join them this Sunday. I am so thankful that You have provided this time for me to spend worshipping You, and to bond with my family.
1 Peter 3:15 is my prayer.
Today, while in the car with my mom, a song came on my shuffle.
The lyrics that stuck out to me were: “The day that true love died.”
It occurred to me, in that very moment, that TODAY was the day true love died.
Jesus Christ’s sacrifice on the cross is the very picture of true love (1 John 4:10).
God sent His only son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
Because of this act of selflessness, we are saved.
We are able to have a relationship with our creator, the one who loves us perfectly.
When I realized that Jesus Christ dying for me affected my life, in every moment, it changed my life.
Though I can never fully grasp the price He paid, I can use every opportunity to worship and praise His name; to live a life worthy of His calling.
While I wish I were actually able to do this, I am a sinful, selfish human being. It is only by God’s strength that I can live every moment for Him.
This weekend, I am spending time with my family, extended family, aunts, uncles, cousins, and other family friends. During one night, I have had the chance to talk about what I am doing for the next two years [EDGE] no less than 5 times. This has been incredible; to talk about where You are leading me next year, and however long after that!
I pray for boldness; for opportunities to talk about my heart and what you have been doing in my life.
Driving home tonight, I found out that my “aunt” and “uncle” believe in Jesus Christ and that He died today. I’m not sure what else they believe, and if it goes much further than that. I would love for a chance to talk with them about how their lives and hearts can be transformed by His power. That Jesus died for a reason and with purpose.
I wonder if they really and personally know what that means for their lives. I pray that You would draw Kim and Dave closer to You.
They attend a church here in Carmel, and asked if I would like to join them this Sunday. I am so thankful that You have provided this time for me to spend worshipping You, and to bond with my family.
1 Peter 3:15 is my prayer.
Anne of Green Gables
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Upon rereading a favorite childhood book of mine, I wonder what my 7-year old self must have thought or imagined the first time reading about Anne. There is quite a bit of depth that I didn't grasp in my young age, which leads me to consider if any of it intrigued me, or if I quickly skimmed over it to get to the "good parts"?
I wonder if L.M. Montgomery was a Christian...
Google has been one of my best friends for a while now.
Well, according to her biography, she married a minister, but turned her back on religion...
From the book itself, there is a slight hinting that church is a required part of life, for purely social reasons, and a boring or unimaginative part at that! The church body wasn't very welcoming to Anne, and Sunday school seemed more like a duty than a joy.
But, anyway, Anne herself, with her seemingly infinite imagination, depicts the child described in the first part of 1 Corinthians 13:11~ "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child..."
Her thoughts are full of JOYFUL life; I admire her relentless idealistic manner.
I wonder if I asked who God was after hearing Anne's response:
"God is a spirit, infinite, eternal, and unchangeable, in His being, wisdom, power, holiness, justice, goodness, and truth."
Reading this now, I am so humbly struck by the depth of her response. I am once again reminded of the perfect Father that has chosen me.
But I am also saddened by the fact that she said this "promptly and glibly," which means thoughtlessly or insincerely.
That Anne, at age 11, knows these truths about our God, but not the slightest idea of what that means for her.
I pray that our children wouldn't be given just a desensitized knowledge of the truth of God, but a powerful, expressible love of God, which surpasses all knowledge.
I pray that those who read this beautiful book and are captivated by Anne's childish, yet irresistible nature, would be struck even more powerfully by the unchanging, infinite, and eternal nature of our God, characterized by His being, wisdom, power, holiness, justice, goodness, and truth.
I wonder if my 7-year old self ever had a longing for the love of her Lord, for a taste of His unfailing and unchanging love? And was that want pushed away into the depths of her heart, unnoticed and ignored?
This thought makes my heart break for my 7-year old self, knowing how the ways of the the world, not her loving Savior, shaped her childhood.
I wonder if L.M. Montgomery was a Christian...
Google has been one of my best friends for a while now.
Well, according to her biography, she married a minister, but turned her back on religion...
From the book itself, there is a slight hinting that church is a required part of life, for purely social reasons, and a boring or unimaginative part at that! The church body wasn't very welcoming to Anne, and Sunday school seemed more like a duty than a joy.
But, anyway, Anne herself, with her seemingly infinite imagination, depicts the child described in the first part of 1 Corinthians 13:11~ "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child..."
Her thoughts are full of JOYFUL life; I admire her relentless idealistic manner.
I wonder if I asked who God was after hearing Anne's response:
"God is a spirit, infinite, eternal, and unchangeable, in His being, wisdom, power, holiness, justice, goodness, and truth."
Reading this now, I am so humbly struck by the depth of her response. I am once again reminded of the perfect Father that has chosen me.
But I am also saddened by the fact that she said this "promptly and glibly," which means thoughtlessly or insincerely.
That Anne, at age 11, knows these truths about our God, but not the slightest idea of what that means for her.
I pray that our children wouldn't be given just a desensitized knowledge of the truth of God, but a powerful, expressible love of God, which surpasses all knowledge.
I pray that those who read this beautiful book and are captivated by Anne's childish, yet irresistible nature, would be struck even more powerfully by the unchanging, infinite, and eternal nature of our God, characterized by His being, wisdom, power, holiness, justice, goodness, and truth.
I wonder if my 7-year old self ever had a longing for the love of her Lord, for a taste of His unfailing and unchanging love? And was that want pushed away into the depths of her heart, unnoticed and ignored?
This thought makes my heart break for my 7-year old self, knowing how the ways of the the world, not her loving Savior, shaped her childhood.
God is Your Sanctuary
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"This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Although I sent them far away among the nations and scattered them among the countries, yet for a little while I have been a sanctuary for them in the countries where they have gone." Ezekiel 11:16
When I read this passage a few weeks ago, I immediately thought of all of you who will be scattered among the nations this summer.
In context, God scattered His people among the nations as an exile; Though the reasons may be different, this truth remains the same:
God is your SANCTUARY. i.e. a place where God is worshipped; a Holy place; a place of refuge.
Refuge is defined as a source of help, relief, or comfort in times of trouble.
Isn't that comforting to know without a doubt, that God will be your source of help and comfort during your hard times?
I've come to learn, in my heart and not just my head, that God is the same God no matter where I am, physically or spiritually.
He meets me where I'm at, and provides for me, despite my surroundings.
I want all of you to know and remember, especially during the hardships, that God is with you, and He is your Rock and Redeemer.
I can't express how deeply I admire all of your boldness and obedience in stepping out of your comfort zone, travelling to a different country or city, and spreading the love of Christ wherever He leads. Though you may be on a totally different continent, knowing no one, you have God.
Fix your eyes on Him, and joyfully share the hope of the Gospel.
No matter where you are this summer: Russia, Japan, the Middle East, New Zealand, Argentina, Haiti, Namibia, Burlington♥, or Chicago, God is your SANCTUARY.
Hold on tightly to Him, and take refuge in His promises.
I love you all.
When I read this passage a few weeks ago, I immediately thought of all of you who will be scattered among the nations this summer.
In context, God scattered His people among the nations as an exile; Though the reasons may be different, this truth remains the same:
God is your SANCTUARY. i.e. a place where God is worshipped; a Holy place; a place of refuge.
Refuge is defined as a source of help, relief, or comfort in times of trouble.
Isn't that comforting to know without a doubt, that God will be your source of help and comfort during your hard times?
I've come to learn, in my heart and not just my head, that God is the same God no matter where I am, physically or spiritually.
He meets me where I'm at, and provides for me, despite my surroundings.
I want all of you to know and remember, especially during the hardships, that God is with you, and He is your Rock and Redeemer.
I can't express how deeply I admire all of your boldness and obedience in stepping out of your comfort zone, travelling to a different country or city, and spreading the love of Christ wherever He leads. Though you may be on a totally different continent, knowing no one, you have God.
Fix your eyes on Him, and joyfully share the hope of the Gospel.
No matter where you are this summer: Russia, Japan, the Middle East, New Zealand, Argentina, Haiti, Namibia, Burlington♥, or Chicago, God is your SANCTUARY.
Hold on tightly to Him, and take refuge in His promises.
I love you all.
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