Counting Sheep

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So, I know by the title of this blog, it may seem as if I’m going to discuss a dream or my attempts to fall asleep by…counting sheep.

But, no.
I literally counted sheep.

When I was home over Spring Break, my mom said to me, “You should go on a walk in our neighborhood’s common area…”
Which is normal. There are some really cool trails and pretty scenery.

But what I didn’t expect was the end of her suggestion:
“…to look at the sheep.”

This wasn’t expected because there aren’t sheep there normally.

But it intrigued me because, for a while now, I’ve actually been wanting to observe sheep. Preferably with a shepherd, but, regardless, I wasn’t going to pass up this opportunity.

So apparently there has been a poison oak issue for some time now, and one solution is to bring in sheep, who will just eat it right up. This is called vegetation control.
Once in sight of the sheep, I sat down and observed them.
There was a sheepdog that watched over them, protecting them from unwanted visitors such as coyotes or mountain lions, I’m guessing.
They were also confined by an electrical fence, so that they wouldn’t go astray.

Any sudden movements, and half of them would freak out. They’d jump, stop eating, and look at me with a deer-in-the-headlights look.

Just sitting there, taking it all in, brought tears to my eyes.
Thinking how we really are just like those sheep.
How, without that electrical fence, they would just wander aimlessly.
Isaiah 53:6—“We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way.”

In their case, the only protection they have is that electrical fence that keeps them in, and prevents others from entering.
But they don’t have the discipline, discernment, or guidance that our Father gives us.

They eat, and eat, and keep on eating.
And they eat anything and everything: healthy grass, along with poison oak, or even thorns. They’ll eat it all, without regard of what’s good for them, and what’s going to be harmful.

These poor sheep are just lost.

I am thankful that we have a shepherd, one who seeks us out, rescues us, and guides us.
Ezekiel 34:11-12—“For this is what the Sovereign Lord says: I myself will search for my sheep and look after them. As a shepherd looks after his scattered flock when he is with them, so will I look after my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places where they were scattered on a day of clouds and darkness.”

Psalm 23:1-3—“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.”

Oh, and there were 45.
I did actually count.

Anxiously Waiting

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I just had my last assignment of my college career; my last presentation; my last dreaded school-related homework!
Well, I still have finals, but that's beside the point.

Sunday night, I sat, staring at my computer, for about two hours. And that's not including the time I spent doing other things that weren't essential to get done.
I vaguely remember Tiffanie questioning, "Why do I have to be so good at procrastinating?"
And I have to ask myself the same question.
When did I get so good at putting off schoolwork?
Why does writing a paper about a subject that I have no interest in bring me such dread?
Why couldn't I just sit and get it done?
When did not turning in my homework become okay?
Does that have anything to do with the increasing occurrence of not attending class?


I know that Matthew 6:34 says, "Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
But have I truly applied it to my life?

I am so excited, and so ready for the next stage of life to be here, that I think I'm already living it. Despite still being here physically, my heart is already on EDGE.

I've forgotten that in order to actually do EDGE, I have to first graduate. Which means I have to pass my classes, and in order to do that, I must study.

Is it a sense of "pride" that I have?
Oh, I'll graduate...God wants me to do EDGE, so He'll make it happen, even if I don't study.

It makes me feel sick, knowing that there are times I believe that thought.

I know that God could make that happen; He could do anything. But He has me in this place, as a student, for a purpose.

He also calls us to work at whatever we do with ALL our heart, as if working for the Lord. Kyu-Ho emphasized that whenever we work, we are communing with the Lord; that our hard work is pleasing to Him.

Waiting is defined as:
1) remaining inactive or in a state of repose, as until something expected happens
2) looking forward to eagerly.

While both of these apply to how i feel...only one of them is healthy.

I will admit, I am eagerly looking forward to being graduated and starting my job with Navs.
But, to remain inactive until that time, is not okay.
I've found my tendency, without self-control or discipline, is to want do just that--remain inactive.
Thank goodness that I've been given a spirit of self-discipline!

Proverbs 12:25 says, "An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up."

Last week was a hard week; I definitely felt the effects of my anxious heart...

Lord, I pray that you would take away my anxiety, and let me find rest in who you are, and where you have me these last couple weeks. Lord, your consolation brings joy to the soul; console me.