Parasite

Yes, that is what my brother called me.

After having over a 2 hour conversation in the car about Jesus and the power and freedom found in Him, this is what it boiled down to.

God, I pray that you would work in my brother's heart, that you would draw Him close to you.

That his mind, which is blinded, and his heart that is hardened, would accept the Truth; the only Truth. His eyes cannot see, and his heart doesn't understand.
This breaks my heart.

He needs you, Lord. More than anything.
Following Jesus isn't just taking the "easy thing to do."

I pray that through my experience on EDGE, his viewpoint of what I'm doing with my life wouldn't be thought of as worthless.
Oh God, believe me, I KNOW it's not. But i wish he would be able to see, to experience the saving power of believing in Jesus Christ.

What I'm doing, according to him, is being a parasite.
One that makes the rest of my family feel guilty and forces them to donate money to my cause.

Two hours of talking about you, Jesus. About your life, your death, and your resurrection. About the Living Word of God. About the fall of mankind and our sinful natures. About the unseen forces that are at work against us. About drawing life from broken cisterns that will never satisfy. And humbly knowing that I will never be his savior; that it is God alone who works in the hearts of His people.

I pray that something will speak to him; that you would speak to the deepest part of his soul.
I alone cannot make him see, or understand.

Lord, Luke 12:52-53 is sadly and heartbreakingly true in my life. But I know that you are my Father, and that is what sustains me.

Comfort my heart, dry my tears, and help me know that it is you who they hate, not me.

"In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?" Ps. 56:4

Sounds simple enough. But when it is your very family, it hurts.

In Your eyes, I know I'm not a parasite.

I pray that my brother would believe that, too.